Over the years, I've amassed quite an
excessive amount of Christmas albums. So much so that the sheer
amount of Christmas songs I've gathered could almost give my
Halloween playlist a run for its money (almost). Unfortunately, the
constant mainstream Muzak that plays at work or during my holiday
shopping has kind of made me want to listen to Christmas music less
and less each year, and yet, some of my albums are just unique enough
to keep things interesting.
Over the next few posts, I'll be going
into detail about some of these holiday albums that are more than
just the covers of mainstream songs you're used to. Maybe you'll even
take a few of my recommendations to heart and discover a new yearly
musical tradition. I'll be separating these by theme. First up to bat
is anything that falls under the “novelty” category, mainly
cartoon soundtracks.
5-Ren and Stimpy's Crock O'
Christmas
Originally released in 1993, and again in 1997, through Sony and Kid Rhino, this became the second of three Ren and Stimpy albums. Based on the popular Nicktoon, and with vocals by Billy West, Crock O' Christmas follows a storyline where Ren Hoek and Stimpy J. Cat go Yaksmas caroling and meet up with several crazy characters from the show. These Husband and Wife, the Muddy Mudskipper, Stimpy's “son,” Stinky, and even the fire chief from the “Fire Dogs” episode. The characters go about the town celebrating various made-up holidays such as Yaksmas Eve and Cobb Day.
In between the dialogue is a series of
original songs. The songs here range in style from rock to smooth
jazz to rockabilly. As a kid, my favorite was “We're Going Shopping
for Christmas,” where the duo go on a shopping spree through the
mall. As an adult, I've noticed that there's a lot here for older
listeners to love. Just like the cartoon, there's some humor here
that is bound to fly over kids' heads. For example, the background
vocals on “Yaksmas Shaving Day” are a direct parody of those on
The Beatles' “I Am the Walrus.” The only songs that get old fast
are the traditional carols that have new lyrics with the show's
signature gross-out humor. One can only listen to “Jingle Bells”
and “The 12 Days of Christmas” with new lines about “rubber
nipples” and “stinky diapers” so many times.
By far, my current favorite song on the
album is “It's a Wizzleteats Kind of Christmas” which is made to
resemble an old Children's recording from the 50's or 60's. It's
about the character Stinky Wizzleteats (the old guy who sings the
“Happy Happy Joy Joy” song) who is a direct caricature of Burl
Ives. It's a song that feels upbeat and happy go lucky in the way a
lot of children's songs do with a xylophone in the background and
Stimpy leading a choir of children. I could easily see this being
animated with the kids from the Log commercials doing the background
vocals. (If there's any student animators reading this PLEASE
ANIMATE THIS for me! We can get a Kickstarter going if we have
to!)
Finally, the album ends on the,
surprisingly uplifting, “We are the World”-style number,
“Decorate Yourself,” which I could easily see ending the most
epic live Christmas concert ever. I can picture today's current top
artists trading lines like “Hang your mistletoe where the sun don't
shine.” In fact, I think this one deserves a new Michael Jackson
hologram.
In all, this is a well put-together
production. It was more than just “Hey, let's stick Billy West in a
recording booth for four hours.” The other vocalists are very good.
The instruments are well-performed including a small orchestra and a
keyboardist. Some actual time and effort went into making this thing
sound polished. It's unfortunate that the kids are probably going to
get more out of it than the adults, but then again, what kids these
days even know who Ren and Stimpy are?
4-A Charlie Brown Christmas
soundtrack
How could I not include this one? This
soundtrack to the beloved 1965 television special is a classic unto
itself. When the special was being made, the creators weren't sure
what kind of music to use. Producer Lee Mendelson suggested jazz.
Charles M. Schulz was apparently not a fan of jazz, but once he heard
Vince Guaraldi's score, he agreed that this was the perfect style of
music for the Peanuts gang.
The score by the Vince Guaraldi Trio is
iconic. You've probably heard it just walking around the mall during
the holiday season. You can place it, even if you've never listened
to the album or seen the holiday special (and if you have never seen
it, for shame!). Everyone knows “Linus and Lucy” as the
definitive “theme song” to the Charlie Brown cartoons, but every
track on here is a winner.
The instrumentals are soothing and
pleasant, perfect for wrapping presents, decorating the tree, or
driving around and looking at neighborhood lights. “Skating” is a
light-hearted piano solo. “Christmas is Coming” has an upbeat
jazz feel with nice percussion. “O Tannenbaum” starts off pretty
traditional but then transcends normality by going into an off-beat
piano solo. This is up there with Brubeck as some of the best 60's
jazz.
The songs with vocals also shine.
You've no doubt already heard “ Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and
“Christmastime is Here.” “My Little Drum” could have worked
by itself as a jazzy interpretation of “The Little Drummer Boy,”
but Guaraldi added children's vocals to the background. The
children's choir gives off the sound a drum would make. Any other
musician would probably have added a real drum track, but the sound
of kids making drum noises is pretty unique.
It should be noted that there are
actually two versions available, the original 1965 release and a
later re-release from 2006. It can be difficult to find both, and
it's even harder to tell them apart based on the cover art, since
this album continues to be released in stores every holiday. I have
both versions of the recordings, and I can assure you that the
differences are very minor, mainly some
alternate takes on a few of the songs. Only hardcore record
collectors need to heed this warning.
Of all the albums included on this
list, this one is a must have for everyone. This is my list, and
therefore I can order these albums however I damn well please, and
because of that, this album didn't make the number one spot. Despite
that, everything else on here is a matter of personal taste, but you'd have to travel very far to find someone who despises the sounds
of a classic Charlie Brown cartoon. This is a must-own for everyone
and a classic album that can be played all year long.
3-Claymation Christmas Celebration
soundtrack
This is the soundtrack to my favorite Christmas special. It was a show that friends and students, in the after-school Cartoon Club I used to host, were willfully subjected to every year (except for Rob who could never make it through without falling asleep. I hope you're reading this, Rob! Are you paying attention now?!). If you've never seen said program, don't worry, because this is still an excellent album regardless of background knowledge on the source material.
This album
features an R&B sound throughout. In the actual Christmas
special, a wonderful rendition of “Joy to the World” was played,
and so was “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer” which was
performed by the California Raisins (aka the Street Corner Singers). This rendition of the song was actually just a cover of the version originally performed
by The Temptations. Both of these songs are included on the album,
but the sound they produce is expanded upon with the inclusion of
other soulful songs such as “Good King Swing,” “Silent Night
Jazzy Night,” “Noel,” “Hark!,” “Angels We Have Heard on
High,” and “God Rest Ye.” “We Three Kings Bop” is another
song performed in this style that originally debuted in the special.
The main versus are sung in the traditional choral style of “We
Three Kings,” but the chorus is performed by the jazzy vocals of
the three wise men's camels. (Just watch the TV special for it to make sense.)
The songs I listed
above are perfect, however, there are a few missteps on this album.
The first is “Up on the Housetop” which is excruciatingly awful.
I don't know if this was a deleted song from the special or if they
included it to fill out the record, but it is one that needs to be
skipped. The other major problem this album has is the inclusion of
the “Carol of the Bells.” In the actual special, this was my
favorite segment growing up. It featured a bunch of anthropomorphic
bells wacking themselves on the heads with mallets to the tune of the
beloved carol. I guess the record producers realized the joke was
lost when played as straight audio, so they added these annoying
voices on the album. Now we have characters who never spoke telling
the listener what is going on, including Maestro Quasimodo who, in
the actual show at least, never said anything except for the
occasional grunt or moan. (On the upside, we now know that the main bell's name is "Dumbbell.") The album's inclusion of the song “Waffle,
Waddle, Wallow, Wassle” is nice, but only for those who have seen
the special.
The
album as a whole is great, but the three tracks listed above were
really throwing off my groove. My advice is to make a mix CD or a
playlist of just the R&B songs, and skip the silly stuff. The
soulful renditions of classic carols truly are amazing, and each one
of them has a different sound than the last. If you've never seen
Claymation Christmas
but like the old Motown sound, you will love this. If you've seen the
special and like the “Joy!” song, you will love this. Just feel
free to skip a few tracks.
2-Nick at Nite Records: A Classic
Cartoon Christmas
Ever watched those old Rankin/Bass
specials during Christmas and wished you could own high quality
recordings of the songs the characters sang? Now you can!
You see, kiddies, once upon a time,
Nickelodeon's Nick at Nite block (and its sister station, TV Land)
would play shows from the 50's and 60's, the “golden age” of
television. The promos for these shows featured UPA styled cartoons
of adults watching TV and mice ordering the channel. The theme being
that these shows were from a classier time. To promote the channel, a
series of albums were made, each with a different theme: beach
parties, lounging at the pool, etc. A Christmas album with songs from
the TV specials at the time was also produced.
This one features classic songs from
How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas,
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman,
Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Little Drummer Boy,
and A Muppet Family Christmas. Despite being released a couple
decades after most of these specials aired, A Muppet Family
Christmas was still rotated on television when this album was
released. It's sadly fallen by the wayside due to copyright issues
(because it features a bunch of Jim Henson properties that currently
have different owners), but having a couple songs from the special is
nice.
There are a couple downsides to this
album. The first is a nitpick, but I cannot stand the snarky letters,
supposedly written by kids to their favorite cartoon characters, that
are included on the inside booklet. I guess it's better than nothing.
My only other gripe with this CD is that it's missing the Miser
Brothers songs from A Year Without a Santa Claus, a special that was
a lot more obscure in 1996. It was only because of airings in the
late 90's and throughout the 2000's that this special became the cult
classic it is today. Luckily, Sony must have heard fans complaints,
because they included both Miser
Brothers songs on the follow-up album.
Yes, there is a sequel album, A
Classic Cartoon Christmas, Too. This one includes some songs from
Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town that were
missing from the first release. They even include a song from Mr.
Magoo's Christmas Carol. However, there's also a few duds. For
example, despite the fact that I was a fan of the Madeline
character at a young age, I never had any idea they made a Christmas
song about her, and for some reason this was included here. There's
also a bizarre song sung by Gene Miller called “Follow that Star”
from something called “The Beginner's Bible Sings.” Also, they
included a song from the Ren and Stimpy album. What the heck, Sony?
Way to double dip!
This is still a quality release.
Considering your only other option is to rip low-fi recordings of
these songs off of YouTube, this album is a better option. It's out
of print, so physical media collectors like myself should rejoice
that we have yet another Holiday-theme CD case to throw on the shelf.
1-Ultra Lounge: Christmas Cocktails:
Several
volumes of these were made: three original volumes and an “Ultimate”
edition. If you have to choose, the first volume is clearly the
superior choice. Christmas Cocktails is a collection of lounge and
novelty records from an era when easy listening music lit up Tiki
bars and backyard barbecues. The original versions of these
collections even included hidden bonus tracks such as the Toys
for Tots jingle
(which still gets some airplay to this day).
In these classic
volumes, we've got Peggy Lee's rendition of “Winter Wonderland,”
Dean Martin crooning to “I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm,” and
Nancy Wilson asking “What are you doing New Year's Eve.” Les
Brown and His Band of Renown belt out a hip, jazzy version of
Tchaikovsky's “Nutcracker Suite.” The Capitol Studio Orchestra
requests that you “Cha-Cha All the Way.” There's even a really
bizarre cover of “Baby It's Cold Outside” by Carmen McRae and
Sammy Davis Jr with original creepy, rape-y lyrics included.
Nothing on this
set list can compare to the crown jewel of these collections. I'm
talking about the first track on the first volume of Christmas
Cocktails: Billy May's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Mambo:
Hol-lee crap, is
that not just delicious? This one song, this one tiny piece of
glorious nostalgic cheese, has been an annual holiday staple in my
family since the first volume of this series was released. I even
learned how to play along to the track on saxophone, and my brother
accompanied me on trumpet.
I'm honestly not
sure what makes this one so special. Is it the fact that it opens so
casually and builds to such a high? Is it because the song
randomly becomes “Jingle Bells” in the middle before going back
into “Rudolph?” Is it the sheer intensity of the band's rounds of
“Huh!” and “Mush!” or is the the twisted, macabre sounds of
an older woman screeching “Close your eyes real nice and tight.
Santa comes tonight???” The answer is: all of these things. This is
such a wonderfully tacky song in such a wonderfully tasteless
collection. Your Christmas is better for it.
There are many
more great novelty Christmas albums, but these ones stood out among
the others. Leave any suggestions in the comments, and maybe I'll
cover some more releases another year. Of course, there's another
unique Christmas novelty album, but I dare speak its name....
Ahhh! Look away!
It burns! It burns!
Stay tuned for
Part 2 where we take a different look at two other styles of Christmas music: Rock and Metal!
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