5 Christmasy Christmas Albums to Get You in the Mood for Christmas (Sorry, Other Denominational Holidays) Part 2: Rock and Metal

Have you been listening to those tired old Christmas covers you hear on the radio over and over? Are you sick to death of Nat King Coal and Bing Crosby? Have you had enough of the syrupy sweetness that is “Last Christmas” or “Wonderful Christmastime?” Have I got a deal for you! Here's some recommendations to make your holiday brutally hardcore! Now, grab some eggnog and cookies, and let's crank this sucker up to 11!

5-A Twisted Christmas

This album starts off with a traditional version of “The Christmas Song,” and then halfway through, it becomes an 80's glam metal ballad. From here, there aren't many surprises. All of the songs on the album sound like a hair metal version of Christmas songs, which is good, but there's not much new here save a few songs. “Oh Come All Ye Faithful” kicks serious ass (in which sharp-eared listeners may hear a few chords from “We're Not Going to Take It” in the guitar solo), and “I'll Be Home from Christmas” stands out because Lita Ford serves as a guest vocalist. There's also a “12 Days of Christmas” cover that is good to sing along with at least once each season, as it replaces the lyrics we're used to with objects from the glam scene such as “cans of hairspray,” “spandex pants,” “pentagrams,” and “black mascaras.”

So, what makes this album worthy of the list? Well, it does its job. It's glam metal meets Christmas. It doesn't do anything too heavy or different, but that's OK. It's not as heavy as the number one pic on our list, and its arrangements of the songs don't veer too off the beaten path, so it's a nice album that metal fans and the grandparents can listen to together. When Twisted Sister toured to promote this album, they'd play an original song in between Christmas carols. I think that sums up the album: keeping the band's signature sound, but applying it to familiar holiday hits.

Your enjoyment of this album depends on your attitude towards the hair metal scene. If you don't enjoy that kind of music, then you probably won't like lyrics about hairspray and mascara. Personally, I think this is a great companion album with my number one pic, and so is Number Four on this list...

4-Merry Axemas: A Guitar Christmas

This wonderfully unique album is a collection of instrumental pieces from some of the greatest guitarists of our time. It opens with a pretty basic rock rendition of “Rudolph” from Kenny Wayne Shepard, but each track from that point has its own unique sound. Eric Johnson gives an atmospheric rendition of “The First Noel” that is peppered with possible New Wave influences. Jeff Beck lets out a haunting “Amazing Grace” complete with a ghostly choir in the background. The Brian Setzer Orchestra performs “Jingle Bells.” I figured this one would be similar to their version of the song with lyrics, but I was pleasantly surprised that they gave it a lively, big band swing approach.

 I won't go into detail about every song, because I don't want to ruin the experience, but trust me when I say that there are many more talented musicians on this thing. We have the Great Joe Satriani, possibly my favorite guitarist, performing “Silent Night/Holy Night Jam.” Alex Lifeson, one third of the holy trinity that is Rush, takes on “The Little Drummer Boy.” Steve Vai, Joe Perry, Steve Morse, and others make up the rest of the tracks. A second volume was released that includes music from Ted Nugent, Al Di Meola, Zakk Wylde, and others.

Both volumes contain treasure troves of talent. It is truly amazing how many legends became a part of this project. If you want solid music to rock out to this holiday season, or even just something to throw on in the background of a Christmas party, this is the perfect choice to go with. My dad turned me onto this one, proving that there's something in it for all ages to enjoy.

3-Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Trilogy

It would be criminal to not include these. Yes, this is technically a cheat since I'm including three albums at once, but together, they make up one complete piece. Christmas Eve and Other Stories, The Christmas Attic, and The Lost Christmas Eve are must-plays each Christmas season.

You may not believe it, but TSO didn't start out as the stadium-packing, choral filled, storytelling hype train they've become. Yes, before people were decorating their houses with lights synchronized to the sounds of TSO, there was a hardcore metal band named Savatage that was violating virgin ears with its sound. Their album, Hall of the Mountain King, is one of the greatest metal records of the 80's, if not of all time. “Hold on,” you might be thinking. “The kings of Christmas concerts started out as a hair band singing Satanic tunes that would turn children into jail bait rebels?!” Something like that, yes. 

It was producer Jon Olivia that wanted to take the band in a different direction, having been a fan of the popular Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, The Phantom of the Opera. Instilling a more progressive sound, the band's later albums reflect this change. It was their unexpected hit “Christmas Eve (Sarajavo 12/24)” from the album Dead Winter Dead that led to their first release under the Trans-Siberian Orchestra name, 1996's Christmas Eve and Other Stories. This inside booklet contained a tease for the next part of the Christmas trilogy that wouldn't be released until 2002. The final Christmas album was released in 2004. In between these albums, we were also given Beethoven's Last Night, a concept album that the band sometimes plays during tours in the spring season. 

I'm going to refrain from reviewing each album individually, because that would take up too much time. Instead, let's look at the trilogy as a whole. Each album contains its own hand-drawn artwork, which is mesmerizing to look at. Being concept albums, each one has its own individual story which takes place on a magical Christmas Eve. The story is explained in full at the beginning of the CD's booklet, and then it is elaborated on between the written lyrics. Reading the booklet while listening along gives the listener a definitive experience of participating in a complete Christmas tale, and not just hearing individual songs.

Each song is interconnected and makes up a greater part of a whole. These songs usually work to further the story, but sometimes they fall flat. For example, “Wish Liszt (Toy Shop Madness),” is a rock medley of “The Nutcracker Suite,” but it has next to no place in the story. The main character looks into a display window at a toy story and the toys come to life. This is never elaborated upon, it is just an excuse to work the song into the story. These albums do that sometimes, working in pieces that have no place to exist alongside others, but overall, the experience is a pleasant one.

The TSO songs that most people are familiar with are the covers of traditional carols. You've probably heard “Wizards in Winter” or “A Mad Russian's Christmas.” These are the song's where the band truly shines. Just like on Beethoven's Last Night, the band is at their very best when performing hard rock covers of famous orchestral music. However, there are quite a few original songs that stand out, especially on Christmas Eve and Other Stories. “An Angel Came Down” and “A Star to Follow” from that album, and “Christmas Canon” from The Christmas Attic are some of the greatest songs the band has produced. Consequently, there are few duds, not many, but a few. For example, I cannot and never have been able to stomach “Christmas Nights in Blue,” a jazz track off the third album in the trilogy.

If you enjoy concept albums or love the traditional music the holiday season gives us, you must check out these albums. They are modern classics, and I think the thousands of people that pack the live shows of the East and West versions of TSO (yes, there are two different touring bands) speak volumes to the group's ability to create a well-made musical story that is great to look at when performed live. If you enjoy the CD's, there's even a movie of The Christmas Attic you could watch. It's as a cheap as a Hallmark special, but its something. (The video above is from this movie.) Trans-Siberian Orchestra has become synonymous with Christmas music, and for good reason. Amazing that they started out giving us such classics like “White Witch” and “Devastation.”

2-The Beatles Fan Club Christmas records

This one is a cheat, but I think you'll forgive me when you listen to the subject matter. It's a cheap inclusion on this list for several reasons, the first being that these were records given out by The Beatles Fan Club every Christmas and not released to the general public. The other reason is that these things have never had an official release. The only way to listen to them is to hear bootleg recordings. I'm fortunate enough to own a bootleg compilation of all of them. It's unlikely we'll ever get a real release unless all four families agree to it, and that's about as likely as happening as getting a release of “Carnival of Light.”

These singles issued records were put out between 1963 during the band's early highs, and 1969, mere months before the group split. Each one includes the Fab Four wishing their fans a Merry Christmas, giving an update on their current projects, and mostly just joking around.

There are even a few songs, but these are never taken seriously. We get the band doing “Good King Wenceslas” with lyrics like “when the snow laid round about, deep and crisp and crispy.” There's also “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Ringo,” which has a title that says it all. The only song included that I cannot stand is an “original” tune called “Christmastime is Here Again.” It contains three lyrics and drones on for a solid five minutes.

These are lost gems that contain insight into a different era. This is the band at their most jubilant, their most spirited. It is obvious they are having a blast recording these things. These are the same Beatles that put out humorous movies like A Hard Day's Night and Help! These are the same four guys that hosted press conferences where every answer they gave was almost always a wisecrack. The same group that would perform in front of the freaking Queen of England and make jokes at her expense, only to get away with it. These recordings contain the fun Beatles, not the mopey ones during the recording session of Let it Be or the pissy ones post-break up. These fan club recordings make you wish you had these gents over for the holidays, but fortunately, being a listener is the next best thing.

1-We Wish You a Metal Christmas and a Headbanging New Year

This is it, folks. The piece de resistance. The holy grail of anything containing the words “metal” and “Christmas” in the same title. This is the compilation to end them all.

In 2008, a whole slew of heavy metal giants came together to bring us some holiday cheer. Don't be fooled by the cover, this is not a normal compilation album like Merry Axemas in which a different artist performs each song. No, this is a full-blown collaborative effort. Several artists, who have possibly never worked together before, contribute to each track. You have a different vocalist, lead guitarist, etc. on every song.

For example, Moterhead's late great Lemmy Kilmister sings alongside ZZ Top's Billy Gibbons and Nirvana's Dave Grohl on a cover of Chuck Berry's “Run Rudolph Run,” one of the absolute standout tracks on the album. That's right, there's more than just metal performers on this thing. We've got Alice Cooper, for crying out loud, performing with Vinny Appice (also from Moterhead) on “Santa Claws is Coming to Town.” (No, the “w” is not a mistake.) There are so many greats on here. Scott Ian from Anthrax, the versatile Tim “Ripper” Owens, Geoff Tate, and Chuck Billy, whose performance of “Silent Night” is unlike any version of that song you've ever heard before.

A redeeming quality that this album has over A Twisted Christmas is that every track shines on its own. Each of the performers gives their own spin on their respective songs. For example, the dearly departed Ronnie James Dio gives a very Dio-centric rendition of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen.” It helps that his signature sound is highlighted thanks to the accompaniment of Dio's bandmate from Black Sabbath, Tony Iommi. Alice Cooper's song also sounds like one he'd release on his own, despite its inclusion of other musicians. It begins with a spoken word intro before building into the creepy but silly lyrics Alice is known for.

Another reason I absolutely adore this record is that it transforms bad songs into listenable ones. I normally cannot stand the droning melody of “Little Drummer Boy” or the corny, almost winking to the audience, “funny ha-ha” nature of “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.” It's these talented musicians that make me want to belt out these songs in traffic, something I'd never dream of doing with the original recordings. “Rockin' Around the Xmas Tree” is another overplayed song that I only fall in love with when listening to this album.

This collection concludes with “Happy Xmas (War is Over),” a perfect choice to go out on. Honestly, I think this cover gives John and Yoko a run for their money. (I feel like my dad would disown me if he heard me say that.) It's not better than the original, but it comes awfully close. 

If you want one Christmas album that falls under the “Rock” or “Heavy Metal” label, this is it. I cannot overstate what a wonderful collection this is. The planets must have aligned perfectly for such a vast amount of artists to work together on this thing, a group not seen since the likes of Hear N' Aid (and the less said about that, the better). After you hear this, you'll never want to sing “Silent Night” the same way again.

Honorable Mentions

There were a lot of hard choices I had to make when narrowing down this list, but I decided to stick to full-blown albums, not singles. I also wanted to only include records that had a near-perfect track list. Here's the list of “rejects.” They're not perfect, but worth including on your Christmas playlist.

A Very Brutal Christmas-This was a single release that was used to promote the Austrian Death Machine's first album, Total Brutal. ADM, if you don't know, is a band with lyrics based on lines from Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. This single includes new dialogue between the band and “Ahnold,” along with “Jingle Bells,” a cover of Judas Priest's “Hell Bent for Leather,” and one of the best songs from the full album, “Get to the Choppa.” It's a huge stretch putting this on here, but it's Christmas-themed, so there.

Jackson 5: Ultimate Christmas Collection-Containing Christmas songs and holiday greetings to their fans, this album didn't make the list because I realized it doesn't technically fall under the category of “Rock.” Honestly, if it did, I'd have to include The Temptations' “Silent Night,” and “Christmas Rappin'” by Kurtis Blow, because my list could basically contain anything that would slightly fall into the “R&B,” “Funk,” or “Soul” categories. Also, the only real winners on this Jackson 5 collection are “Up on the Housetop” and “Someday at Christmas.”

“No Presents for Christmas”-One of King Diamond's most famous hits, but again, it was just a single release. I had to mention it, though. This is one killer carol.

“Another Rock and Roll Christmas”-Originally performed by Gary Glitter (before his jail time), this is a nice, upbeat tune that deserves at least one listen each year. The original had a 50's rock sound to it, but the Iron Maiden cover is heavier, and possibly superior. It doesn't overstay its welcome.

Fans might be disappointed that Maiden's Bruce Dickinson is not the vocalist on this one, but instead Paul Di'Anno, the original singer for the band. Honestly, I like Paul almost as much as Bruce, and his deep vocals, veering very close to punk rock but not quite, give the song a very different feeling than Bruce's would. It could be worse. At least we didn't get Blaze Baylay, who one reviewer described as a man who “sounds like he has a jar of peanut butter in his mouth.”

The Brian Setzer Orchestra's Christmas albums-This band was included on Merry Axemas, and you've probably heard their music in Jingle All the Way and Elf. I'm not a fan of their normal music, but I do like the Christmas covers I've heard. At the moment, they have three Christmas albums. Since I haven't listened to them in their entirety, I abstained from including them on this list.

“Christmas with the Devil”-This is single track from the fictional band, Spinal Tap. The song can be found on the This is Spinal Tap soundtrack. It features great lyrics like “There's someone up the chimney hole, and Satan is his name.” An alternate version contains an intro where the band stumbles through the verses of “We Three Kings.”

Jimi Hendrix: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year-A Hendrix Christmas album? “That sounds awesome,” you're probably saying, “I love what he did to The Star Spangled Banner, so I'm sure this is good, too.” You'd be very wrong. I'm going to be frank: this is a piece of crap. It was nothing more than a quick cash grab from the Hendrix family. It includes only 3 songs: “Little Drummer Boy/Silent Night/Auld Lang Syne,” “The Three Bears,” and an extended version of the first song (A BONUS TRACK!!!!). I felt like I had to include this, because it's such a weird curiosity. Plus, the cover features Jimi dressed as Santa, so that alone should be worth the price.

Bob Dylan: Christmas in the Heart-There is no denying that Bob Dylan's influence changed the face of rock music, and he created some of the greatest songs of all time. However, there comes a point when even the most devoted Dylan followers will tell you that there comes a time when one can only take so much of his raspy vocals. (I swear he sounded like a different person before that biking accident.) Fortunally, that time did not come when I first heard this.

I admit, I was ready to hate this one. I thought my ears would bleed from listening, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. On some of the slower songs, Bob comes across as an old uncle belting out folk songs with a banjo. I can say that after hearing Bob warble his way through “Must Be Santa,” I will never hear this song the same way again. He plays with a freaking polka band which finally made me realize that the song is nothing more than a rip-off of “Schnitzelbank.” If you can stomach Bob's “voice like sand and glue,” this is one to put on your wish list.

So there you have it! Hopefully, you'll take some of my ideas to heart and make them part of your annual yuletide traditions. If not...I don't care, I guess. Thanks for reading, and having a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Rockin' New Year!

Ah, what the heck. Let's go out on with a bang. Everybody polka!!

5 Christmasy Christmas Albums to Get You in the Mood for Christmas (Sorry, Other Denominational Holidays) Part 1: Novelty Albums

Over the years, I've amassed quite an excessive amount of Christmas albums. So much so that the sheer amount of Christmas songs I've gathered could almost give my Halloween playlist a run for its money (almost). Unfortunately, the constant mainstream Muzak that plays at work or during my holiday shopping has kind of made me want to listen to Christmas music less and less each year, and yet, some of my albums are just unique enough to keep things interesting.

Over the next few posts, I'll be going into detail about some of these holiday albums that are more than just the covers of mainstream songs you're used to. Maybe you'll even take a few of my recommendations to heart and discover a new yearly musical tradition. I'll be separating these by theme. First up to bat is anything that falls under the “novelty” category, mainly cartoon soundtracks.

5-Ren and Stimpy's Crock O' Christmas

Originally released in 1993, and again in 1997, through Sony and Kid Rhino, this became the second of three Ren and Stimpy albums. Based on the popular Nicktoon, and with vocals by Billy West, Crock O' Christmas follows a storyline where Ren Hoek and Stimpy J. Cat go Yaksmas caroling and meet up with several crazy characters from the show. These Husband and Wife, the Muddy Mudskipper, Stimpy's “son,” Stinky, and even the fire chief from the “Fire Dogs” episode. The characters go about the town celebrating various made-up holidays such as Yaksmas Eve and Cobb Day.

In between the dialogue is a series of original songs. The songs here range in style from rock to smooth jazz to rockabilly. As a kid, my favorite was “We're Going Shopping for Christmas,” where the duo go on a shopping spree through the mall. As an adult, I've noticed that there's a lot here for older listeners to love. Just like the cartoon, there's some humor here that is bound to fly over kids' heads. For example, the background vocals on “Yaksmas Shaving Day” are a direct parody of those on The Beatles' “I Am the Walrus.” The only songs that get old fast are the traditional carols that have new lyrics with the show's signature gross-out humor. One can only listen to “Jingle Bells” and “The 12 Days of Christmas” with new lines about “rubber nipples” and “stinky diapers” so many times.

By far, my current favorite song on the album is “It's a Wizzleteats Kind of Christmas” which is made to resemble an old Children's recording from the 50's or 60's. It's about the character Stinky Wizzleteats (the old guy who sings the “Happy Happy Joy Joy” song) who is a direct caricature of Burl Ives. It's a song that feels upbeat and happy go lucky in the way a lot of children's songs do with a xylophone in the background and Stimpy leading a choir of children. I could easily see this being animated with the kids from the Log commercials doing the background vocals. (If there's any student animators reading this PLEASE ANIMATE THIS for me! We can get a Kickstarter going if we have to!)

Finally, the album ends on the, surprisingly uplifting, “We are the World”-style number, “Decorate Yourself,” which I could easily see ending the most epic live Christmas concert ever. I can picture today's current top artists trading lines like “Hang your mistletoe where the sun don't shine.” In fact, I think this one deserves a new Michael Jackson hologram.

In all, this is a well put-together production. It was more than just “Hey, let's stick Billy West in a recording booth for four hours.” The other vocalists are very good. The instruments are well-performed including a small orchestra and a keyboardist. Some actual time and effort went into making this thing sound polished. It's unfortunate that the kids are probably going to get more out of it than the adults, but then again, what kids these days even know who Ren and Stimpy are?

4-A Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack

 

How could I not include this one? This soundtrack to the beloved 1965 television special is a classic unto itself. When the special was being made, the creators weren't sure what kind of music to use. Producer Lee Mendelson suggested jazz. Charles M. Schulz was apparently not a fan of jazz, but once he heard Vince Guaraldi's score, he agreed that this was the perfect style of music for the Peanuts gang.

The score by the Vince Guaraldi Trio is iconic. You've probably heard it just walking around the mall during the holiday season. You can place it, even if you've never listened to the album or seen the holiday special (and if you have never seen it, for shame!). Everyone knows “Linus and Lucy” as the definitive “theme song” to the Charlie Brown cartoons, but every track on here is a winner.

The instrumentals are soothing and pleasant, perfect for wrapping presents, decorating the tree, or driving around and looking at neighborhood lights. “Skating” is a light-hearted piano solo. “Christmas is Coming” has an upbeat jazz feel with nice percussion. “O Tannenbaum” starts off pretty traditional but then transcends normality by going into an off-beat piano solo. This is up there with Brubeck as some of the best 60's jazz.

The songs with vocals also shine. You've no doubt already heard “ Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and “Christmastime is Here.” “My Little Drum” could have worked by itself as a jazzy interpretation of “The Little Drummer Boy,” but Guaraldi added children's vocals to the background. The children's choir gives off the sound a drum would make. Any other musician would probably have added a real drum track, but the sound of kids making drum noises is pretty unique.

It should be noted that there are actually two versions available, the original 1965 release and a later re-release from 2006. It can be difficult to find both, and it's even harder to tell them apart based on the cover art, since this album continues to be released in stores every holiday. I have both versions of the recordings, and I can assure you that the differences are very minor, mainly some alternate takes on a few of the songs. Only hardcore record collectors need to heed this warning.

Of all the albums included on this list, this one is a must have for everyone. This is my list, and therefore I can order these albums however I damn well please, and because of that, this album didn't make the number one spot. Despite that, everything else on here is a matter of personal taste, but you'd have to travel very far to find someone who despises the sounds of a classic Charlie Brown cartoon. This is a must-own for everyone and a classic album that can be played all year long.

3-Claymation Christmas Celebration soundtrack

This is the soundtrack to my favorite Christmas special. It was a show that friends and students, in the after-school Cartoon Club I used to host, were willfully subjected to every year (except for Rob who could never make it through without falling asleep. I hope you're reading this, Rob! Are you paying attention now?!). If you've never seen said program, don't worry, because this is still an excellent album regardless of background knowledge on the source material.

This album features an R&B sound throughout. In the actual Christmas special, a wonderful rendition of “Joy to the World” was played, and so was “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer” which was performed by the California Raisins (aka the Street Corner Singers). This rendition of the song was actually just a cover of the version originally performed by The Temptations. Both of these songs are included on the album, but the sound they produce is expanded upon with the inclusion of other soulful songs such as “Good King Swing,” “Silent Night Jazzy Night,” “Noel,” “Hark!,” “Angels We Have Heard on High,” and “God Rest Ye.” “We Three Kings Bop” is another song performed in this style that originally debuted in the special. The main versus are sung in the traditional choral style of “We Three Kings,” but the chorus is performed by the jazzy vocals of the three wise men's camels. (Just watch the TV special for it to make sense.)

The songs I listed above are perfect, however, there are a few missteps on this album. The first is “Up on the Housetop” which is excruciatingly awful. I don't know if this was a deleted song from the special or if they included it to fill out the record, but it is one that needs to be skipped. The other major problem this album has is the inclusion of the “Carol of the Bells.” In the actual special, this was my favorite segment growing up. It featured a bunch of anthropomorphic bells wacking themselves on the heads with mallets to the tune of the beloved carol. I guess the record producers realized the joke was lost when played as straight audio, so they added these annoying voices on the album. Now we have characters who never spoke telling the listener what is going on, including Maestro Quasimodo who, in the actual show at least, never said anything except for the occasional grunt or moan. (On the upside, we now know that the main bell's name is "Dumbbell.") The album's inclusion of the song “Waffle, Waddle, Wallow, Wassle” is nice, but only for those who have seen the special.

  

The album as a whole is great, but the three tracks listed above were really throwing off my groove. My advice is to make a mix CD or a playlist of just the R&B songs, and skip the silly stuff. The soulful renditions of classic carols truly are amazing, and each one of them has a different sound than the last. If you've never seen Claymation Christmas but like the old Motown sound, you will love this. If you've seen the special and like the “Joy!” song, you will love this. Just feel free to skip a few tracks.

2-Nick at Nite Records: A Classic Cartoon Christmas

Ever watched those old Rankin/Bass specials during Christmas and wished you could own high quality recordings of the songs the characters sang? Now you can!

You see, kiddies, once upon a time, Nickelodeon's Nick at Nite block (and its sister station, TV Land) would play shows from the 50's and 60's, the “golden age” of television. The promos for these shows featured UPA styled cartoons of adults watching TV and mice ordering the channel. The theme being that these shows were from a classier time. To promote the channel, a series of albums were made, each with a different theme: beach parties, lounging at the pool, etc. A Christmas album with songs from the TV specials at the time was also produced.

This one features classic songs from How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Little Drummer Boy, and A Muppet Family Christmas. Despite being released a couple decades after most of these specials aired, A Muppet Family Christmas was still rotated on television when this album was released. It's sadly fallen by the wayside due to copyright issues (because it features a bunch of Jim Henson properties that currently have different owners), but having a couple songs from the special is nice.

There are a couple downsides to this album. The first is a nitpick, but I cannot stand the snarky letters, supposedly written by kids to their favorite cartoon characters, that are included on the inside booklet. I guess it's better than nothing. My only other gripe with this CD is that it's missing the Miser Brothers songs from A Year Without a Santa Claus, a special that was a lot more obscure in 1996. It was only because of airings in the late 90's and throughout the 2000's that this special became the cult classic it is today. Luckily, Sony must have heard fans complaints, because they included both Miser Brothers songs on the follow-up album.

Yes, there is a sequel album, A Classic Cartoon Christmas, Too. This one includes some songs from Rudolph and Santa Claus is Coming to Town that were missing from the first release. They even include a song from Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol. However, there's also a few duds. For example, despite the fact that I was a fan of the Madeline character at a young age, I never had any idea they made a Christmas song about her, and for some reason this was included here. There's also a bizarre song sung by Gene Miller called “Follow that Star” from something called “The Beginner's Bible Sings.” Also, they included a song from the Ren and Stimpy album. What the heck, Sony? Way to double dip!

This is still a quality release. Considering your only other option is to rip low-fi recordings of these songs off of YouTube, this album is a better option. It's out of print, so physical media collectors like myself should rejoice that we have yet another Holiday-theme CD case to throw on the shelf.

1-Ultra Lounge: Christmas Cocktails: 

Several volumes of these were made: three original volumes and an “Ultimate” edition. If you have to choose, the first volume is clearly the superior choice. Christmas Cocktails is a collection of lounge and novelty records from an era when easy listening music lit up Tiki bars and backyard barbecues. The original versions of these collections even included hidden bonus tracks such as the Toys for Tots jingle (which still gets some airplay to this day).

In these classic volumes, we've got Peggy Lee's rendition of “Winter Wonderland,” Dean Martin crooning to “I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm,” and Nancy Wilson asking “What are you doing New Year's Eve.” Les Brown and His Band of Renown belt out a hip, jazzy version of Tchaikovsky's “Nutcracker Suite.” The Capitol Studio Orchestra requests that you “Cha-Cha All the Way.” There's even a really bizarre cover of “Baby It's Cold Outside” by Carmen McRae and Sammy Davis Jr with original creepy, rape-y lyrics included.

Nothing on this set list can compare to the crown jewel of these collections. I'm talking about the first track on the first volume of Christmas Cocktails: Billy May's Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Mambo:

Hol-lee crap, is that not just delicious? This one song, this one tiny piece of glorious nostalgic cheese, has been an annual holiday staple in my family since the first volume of this series was released. I even learned how to play along to the track on saxophone, and my brother accompanied me on trumpet.

I'm honestly not sure what makes this one so special. Is it the fact that it opens so casually and builds to such a high? Is it because the song randomly becomes “Jingle Bells” in the middle before going back into “Rudolph?” Is it the sheer intensity of the band's rounds of “Huh!” and “Mush!” or is the the twisted, macabre sounds of an older woman screeching “Close your eyes real nice and tight. Santa comes tonight???” The answer is: all of these things. This is such a wonderfully tacky song in such a wonderfully tasteless collection. Your Christmas is better for it.

There are many more great novelty Christmas albums, but these ones stood out among the others. Leave any suggestions in the comments, and maybe I'll cover some more releases another year. Of course, there's another unique Christmas novelty album, but I dare speak its name....

Ahhh! Look away! It burns! It burns!

Stay tuned for Part 2 where we take a different look at two other styles of Christmas music: Rock and Metal!